Wow, nearly a week without posting anything. Work was insanely busy, but hopefully we've made it to the climax of the travel season and things will gradually get better!
I think my mind has been on "lock down" for awhile now, I haven't been inspired to write much. I'm on vacation for the next few days, so maybe I'll come up with something.
I got to meet the (new) Dr. Eve this week and really liked her. I'm anxious to begin working with her. She's asked me to go back to my blog and pick out a few entries that were meaningful. I look forward to the task. Also have a book I'm supposed to pick up and begin reading.
During our opening session, she was asking about my life, my family, etc, and I was rambling incessantly, on and on about everything, when she asked me about my mother. I immediately began to cry, which tells me I still have a lot of grief to deal with. In fact, there's a number of unresolved issues in my life that I'm going to revisit yet again. Seems like no matter how far I think I've come, the same shit keeps lurking in my head, resurfacing to cause me grief. I'm not quite sure how to close the door on them; how to find closure, and leave them behind once and for all, but I'm going to give it a try.
I'm also still searching for the inspiration to get back on track with my body. I'm still eating healthy foods, but seem to be supplementing that food with sugar and alcohol, more and more. And I have no inspiration to get back on the treadmill. I really, really want to dig deep and find that inspiration soon. I never felt better than when I was eating healthy and getting daily exercise. Plain and simple, I've got to find happiness within myself, and I know it.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.