Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I'm Going To Have To Ask You To Leave

Whenever I make a comment to Dr. Eve about something I did or said that I felt uncomfortable with, she always asks me which part of me did or said it. Was it my "Wise Self" or was it my "Child Self"?

I've said many times that my Dad can make me feel six years old with one sentence. Obviously my Child Self is taking over when that happens. But Dad's not the only one. I've learned that my Child Self comes out a lot with certain people, and it almost never comes out with others. My Child Self would do anything to avoid conflict. At my age, my Child Self makes me feel really bad about myself.

I believe most women are made up of lots of "selves". Not just Child Self and Wise Self, but Jealous Self, Aggressive Self, Nurturing Self, and so on. That's all well and good at times. There are times when one needs to be a little aggressive or nurturing, but there are times when we don't. And if aggressive or nurturing, or childishness or any other trait comes out when it shouldn't, we exhibit unhealthy patterns and unhealthy behaviors. That's why we often have the same argument with the same person over and over and over again. We get to a certain point, then we dive into those old familiar roles we know so well. Maybe those roles worked for us at one point in time, but maybe right now they do not.

Dr. Eve wants me to ask my Child Self to step aside. I don't need her right now. My Wise Self is going to be the one to do the asking. I'm curious to see how that goes.

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