Sunday, February 8, 2015

My Mom: Repeat

Today, on what would have been my mothers 81st birthday, I am reposting something I originally wrote in August, 2014:

The other day someone was talking about my mom, and said "I miss your mom. She was so funny!"  But the thing is, the person they were referring to was my mom when she was older, sicker, and didn't have all her marbles. People thought she was funny because she said crazy things. After all, she had suffered two brain aneurysms and a series of mini strokes. The smokers thought it was funny that my mom would sneak out to the back yard or the garage, or wherever people were blazing up, and try to bum a cigarette. 

Personally, I saw that as very sad. 

I guess it just bothers me that most of the people I know, never really knew my mother. The woman that was beautiful and vibrant, spirited and intelligent. They only had a chance to meet the sick version, who would sell her soul to get to a cigarette; the very thing that took her personality, her looks, and ultimately her life away from her. 

It's no one's fault. It just is what it is. But this Sunday morning, it bothers me. 

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Scent Of A Woman: Part Six

After I broke up with Design, I was on my own for a while. No relationship with any perfume. 2010, 2011 was a time of change for me. I had made significant progress in counseling, with codependence and in my relationship with my husband.  Medications were working for me and I was coming out of depression.  I was ready to rediscover myself.  I changed my style of clothes, jewelry, shoes, and hair. It was a time of new beginnings for me.

In 2012 I made a trip to South Florida to see Kitty. I still recall standing on the deck of an outdoor restaurant overlooking the beach, and giving Kitty a hug. I remember smelling something so wonderful. This would be the beginning of a new stolen fragrance for me. During my trip she let me borrow the delightful sent, Pure by DKNY. I fell in love. My signature sweet and light, but something new and different to match the new me. Since that time I have gone through two bottles, and this Christmas I asked my husband for a fresh one.  After a failed attempt at different stores, a sales associate finally told him DKNY had stopped making the fragrance. When this news was relayed to me I was devastated! You know the feeling when that special someone you are totally in love with suddenly leaves you, wiith no warning! I was so sad!  Now the question… Do I search the Internet in a desperate attempt to find a stash, or do I move on to something new?  I wasn't ready to let go, so I found a very large bottle on eBay. Being without my fragrance for a few weeks made me very grateful when I received this bottle. I feel tempted to order another large bottle while I can still find it. But part of me says quit holding on. Move on to something new. Another new chapter. 

I learned something interesting while writing this series. Something that may help when I do decide to move onto a new fragrance. With the exception of the very woody Lauren, every other sent I have had a relationship with is a vanilla base. I never knew this. So when the day comes that I am ready to start my search, I will have a place to start. Luckily I don't have to make that decision right now. But until that time I will be sniffing my friends just in case…

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Scent Of A Woman: Part Five

We learned with Lauren, that I have no problem stealing a friend's fragrance. So in the late 1980s when I got a whiff of something very pleasing, I knew I would make it mine.

At that point in time, my company always employed several high school or college students during the busy summer months. One particular summer we hired a girl who sat in my area. Once again, I do not recall her name.  She wore this fragrance that was so wonderful I had to ask about it. I had to try it on for myself, because liking the way it smells on someone else, doesn't mean it will smell right on me. After a trial spray, and letting it sit for a few hours, I knew it must be mine! I did pay the girl the respect of asking if she minded if I copied the fragrance. She did not. Quite frankly, it would not have mattered if she disapproved. I knew she would be gone by the time the leaves begin to turn. And once I want something really bad...I usually figure out a way to get it. 

The fragrance was Design by Paul Sebastian. It truly was a signature fragrance for me. A love affair that lasted longer than most relationships I have had with men.  Design just worked for me. It was sweet and light.  It mixed well with my body chemistry, and it matched my style and my personality. My love affair with design lasted from the late 1980s until around 2010.

Paul Sebastian still makes Design. It was my choice to end the relationship. One day I just realized I was tired of it. It wasn't gradual. It just seemed to happen suddenly. When I did my fall cleaning last year, I found four partially used bottles of it.  I bundled three of them and sold them on eBay. I kept one very small bottle, which I keep in my desk at work. Once in a while I will dab on a little bit of it. I guess it is always nice to keep a momento from a long-term relationship. 

This fragrance represented a long period of my life. When I started wearing it I was at the end of a very bad marriage. If followed me through my divorce and into a very happy and carefree time for me. I wore it all through the happy years with my current husband and into the not so happy years. As melodramatic as it sounds, I believe that walking away from it, also symbolized moving away from that chapter of my life.

My friend Sally still wears Design and I love the way it smells on her. For me, it was just time to move on.