Thursday, July 25, 2013

One Day...

I think that before I die, I will figure out this life. At least I am hopeful that will happen. 

There are so many things I don't understand. 

I hope that one day it will all make sense.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Interesting Question

I ran across this recently, and found it interesting. "What word best describes the way you've spent the last month of your life?"  

Wow. Actually I can think of a bunch of words:

But I'm not quite sure any of those words "best" describes the last 30 days. In all honesty, the very first word that popped into my head was "frozen". Too overwhelmed to move, so I just stayed very still. 

We'll talk more about that later. 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Checking In

After my Heavenly vacation, re-entry into the real world has been an adjustment. I have a lot on my plate right now, which is making me feel a bit overwhelmed. 

I will resume writing soon. 

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Vacation Journal

The past two days consisted of an abundance of delicious food and alcohol, while lying  around in the sun, laughing, and enjoying the company of Kitty and her husband BB. 

It's amazing what a few days of being away from responsibilities can do for you. No cooking, no laundry, no house cleaning... basically nothing.  I'm beginning to miss my family desperately, but everyone should be so lucky to be able to get away, and feel comfortable just relaxing.

My head is too empty to even think of anything to write, other than how relaxed I feel, and how blessed I am. 

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Vacation Journal

I suppose the opposite of codependent is independent. 

Since today was Independence Day it's a fitting time to focus on pleasing myself instead of waiting for someone else to make me happy. 

That's what I tried to do today. It was a good day. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Vacation Journal

Yesterday I came to the pool by myself for a couple of hours. There was no one else here, and I swim around, relaxed and reflected. I thought back to the last time I was here. I remember writing in this journal, that as I swam back and forth across the pool, I said out loud, "I will find peace in this day, in this hour, in this minute". 

I distinctly remember how I felt at that time. So much anxiety inside me! I could not relax. I was worried all the time. In the   year and a half since, a lot has changed Some things have not. However, I do realize that I no longer suffer from the massive ongoing anxiety that I had in October, 2011. My main obstacle right now is confusion, and that "mountain in the middle". 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Vacation Journal

I began a much needed vacation today. I flew to South Florida for a visit with Kitty and her husband. A gift from them, an early birthday present for me. 

I need this time away from work, from home, from the day to day of life. But interestingly, I have found myself talking about home, and my family since I got here.

I am anxious to see what the week brings.