I ran across this recently, and found it interesting. "What word best describes the way you've spent the last month of your life?"
Wow. Actually I can think of a bunch of words:
But I'm not quite sure any of those words "best" describes the last 30 days. In all honesty, the very first word that popped into my head was "frozen". Too overwhelmed to move, so I just stayed very still.
The past two days consisted of an abundance of delicious food and alcohol, while lying around in the sun, laughing, and enjoying the company of Kitty and her husband BB.
It's amazing what a few days of being away from responsibilities can do for you. No cooking, no laundry, no house cleaning... basically nothing. I'm beginning to miss my family desperately, but everyone should be so lucky to be able to get away, and feel comfortable just relaxing.
My head is too empty to even think of anything to write, other than how relaxed I feel, and how blessed I am.
Yesterday I came to the pool by myself for a couple of hours. There was no one else here, and I swim around, relaxed and reflected. I thought back to the last time I was here. I remember writing in this journal, that as I swam back and forth across the pool, I said out loud, "I will find peace in this day, in this hour, in this minute".
I distinctly remember how I felt at that time. So much anxiety inside me! I could not relax. I was worried all the time. In the year and a half since, a lot has changed Some things have not. However, I do realize that I no longer suffer from the massive ongoing anxiety that I had in October, 2011. My main obstacle right now is confusion, and that "mountain in the middle".
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.