In this journal I often bear my soul. Maybe sometimes I bear more than I should. Today is one of those days; so I'm being completely honest. I'm having an incredibly bad codependent day today. Probably one of the worst I've had in awhile. I guess it's the "waiting game" that's getting to me. Like I'm sitting watching a bomb tick-tick-tick away, just wondering when it's going to explode in my face.
I had another hectic day at work today, and for some reason I feel very alone.
I'm aware that this behavior is destructive. I know what Melody Beattie would say. I know what this is--it's called codependence. It's why I write this journal. And, no one out there can fix this problem. It's just something I've got to deal with, because it's all self inflicted, and it's all in my head. It's just been a rough day, that's all.
1 comment:
Hang in there my friend. Based on your previous experiences it should be expected that you would have a hard time getting through this time of year. While I have to be honest and say that I don't completely remember exactly how the last couple of years have gone down for you regarding this topic I am pleased to say that I don't remember any specific disasters either and that's a good thing. It sounds like the two of you have a much better handle on the whole thing than you ever have and I think you should pat yourself on the back for that. Take a few deep breaths and try to enjoy what you have in front of you. Take your focus off what might be and focus on what you can see and feel. I recently read a magazine article about a girl who spent years with sleep deprivation. She would toss and turn and wake up several times during the night. For most of her life this was ok but as she got older it really started to wear her down physically and mentally. After a few years of trying the standard stuff, sleep meds, exercise, etc...She finally signed up for meditation classes at her local YMCA and BINGO...she's a happy sleeper now. I bet meditation would work for a lot of things. We should all sign up and we'd probably have a happier, more peaceful world. Peace out....
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