I'm very excited to have another "Letter to 20 Year Old Self". This one is from faithful reader, Scarlet. Thanks for sharing, Scarlet!
Young Scarlet, you’re twenty years old, and after just two years in college, you’re ready to take the world by storm. You’ll do it, but not as soon as you would like. Be patient, and listen to older, wiser Scarlet give some advice to you.
First of all, you’re not going to become a country star or a rock star – let’s just get that out of the way right now. Sure, these are harsh words for a young girl to hear but they’re true and you need to hear them. No matter how hard you practice, and no matter how many music and voice lessons you take, you’re just not going to be a country or rock star. But don’t let this discourage you. Keep on practicing, and keep on singing with as many different people that you can, because it will pay off. Even though you won’t become a big music star, you will still live out your dream of having your own band and playing on stage in front of crowds of people. A few times, you will even get paid. And one more thing - don’t automatically say “no” when you are asked to sing at church, because they will be the most fulfilling times that you will ever sing a note. Remember that the Lord gave you’re your musical talent and your voice, and you need to “use it or lose it.”
Second, you’re going to learn that things don’t matter. In the summer of 1992, you’re going to realize this. It will be a harsh life lesson, but you need to learn it, and it will make an impact on the rest of your life. Designer labels and expensive things – things you once thought were important – will be a thing of the past. Well, with the exception of your love for Prada purses. I’ll let you keep that one. But you’ll finally learn you’re your family and your friends are what matters most in life. And speaking of the summer of 1992, you won’t realize it at first – it will take almost twenty years but you will eventually realize why the Lord gave you a second chance in that wreck. It won’t be until 2011 when the Lord reveals to you that He gave you the second chance to work for Him in the area of keeping churches safe. But until then, keep on studying your Bible and praying for guidance, and go back to college and learn all you can about anything you can. Then you’ll figure it all out.
Third, don’t get tired of being a good person. Some times you’ll feel like some of your friends take you for granted for being “old faithful”. But just think – some of those friends need an “old faithful” in their lives and that’s your job. Your grandma and grandpa and mom and dad were good people, and you just inherited it from them. You’re only twenty now, and too young to think of things like this, but being a good person will probably be your legacy in life. How cool is that?
Fourth, speaking of “old faithful”, that’s what you are going to be in your jobs. You’ll stay at a job you really don’t like for six years, but you’ve got to pay your dues. You really won’t like it, but it will be easy money. Then you’ll get what I like to call your real job. You’ll really become “old faithful” at this gig – you’ll eventually retire from that company. Yeah, yeah, I know you’re laughing now, but when you see what all that company will do for you – pay for your college degrees, teach you how to be an effective and respected leader, and most of all, it will mold you into a person that people can count on. You don’t really think that’s important right now, but you’ll learn that eventually.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.