I am very excited to have a letter from a male reader! This is a long time friend of mine, who is relatively new to "Detach". I love getting a male perspective on some of these issues and ideas. Thanks for sending this is in, Nodrog.
You graduated from U of L on May 19th, 1990. You were 21, and after the best four years of your life, you reluctantly started a PhD program in the Fall. It was a more focused experience than you thought you were ready for. Think again. You were ready for it. It was a mistake to leave it. You should have stayed at home for a few more years and gotten your doctorate. You would have been teaching for a bit, which wasn't something that interested you, but it would have opened doors in ways we'll never know. You had three distinct decades which made you what you are today. You experienced the most challenging, interesting, and exciting times of your life during the eighties. The nineties were a period for you to explore new things~ you got an apt and started having girlfriends. There was also turbulence during the nineties: You began drinking and driving. You luckily stopped that behavior as you moved into the first decade of the 21st century: You bought a house, quit your job, and took a few years to reflect on things. Midway through the 00's, you decided to get a job again, and see what would happen next. Nothing really does happen next.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.