Monday, May 30, 2011

What Are You Afraid Of: Part Four

Yesterday I made a time consuming and expensive attempt at cooking ribs for the first time. I thought I knew what I was doing, and I just knew the ribs would turn out perfect; falling off the bone delicious. They did not.

I tried something new and failed at it. Then, I beat myself up for hours. I criticized myself, I questioned where I went wrong. Did I buy the wrong cut of ribs? Did I mess up the recipe? Did I cook them too long? I could not let it go. My family was very forgiving. They ate as much they could of the tough pieces of leather, but filled up on the various side dishes, and then off they went. But me--I was relentless with my beating. My husband even said "You'll do better next time", to that I quickly replied "There won't be a next time!!".

If someone else had cooked the ribs and they didn't turn out, I wouldn't have batted an eye. Live and learn--better luck next time. But when I made the mistake--no let up. No forgiveness.

Reason #3 I fear change: I don't know how to forgive myself when something goes wrong.

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