Mystical doesn't have to shop too hard for my birthday present. Every year I ask her for the same thing. A "Wild Quotes from Wild Women" calendar. I LOVE flipping the page every day to see the witty words that await me. Today's quote has been stuck in my head all day, so I decided to write about it. It seems to fit in with several different stories people have shared with me in the past few days.
"To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is; a dissatisfaction with self." -Joan Didion
There's a lot of bitter people out there. People who can't seem to find delight in the successes of others. People who constantly feel they must "one up" you. Some people are what my husband calls "Oh-I-Know's". No matter what you tell them, they already knew it. There's a skit about a "One Upper" on "The Women of SNL", a show Scarlett and I could watch over and over again.
You know the type--you say your arm hurts, suddenly they are having chest pains. You say your 17 year old cat died last week, they say their cat died yesterday--at age 18. I don't think most of the "One Uppers" and "Oh-I-Knows" are even aware they do it.
Maybe Joan Didion is right. Maybe these people constantly have to "one up" because inside they are terribly unhappy. They can't find joy in anyone else's triumphs because they are so displeased with themselves. Recognition for anyone else but them is unwelcome, and will not be tolerated. At least not without retaliation.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.