My Mom

My Mom was a feisty woman until the day she died, but particularly feisty when she was young.

She detested telephone solicitors, various religions, liars, cheaters, flirty women, and a few members of our family (usually ones associated by marriage).

I probably get my potty mouth from my Mom. Difference is, unlike me, the only words she ever used were "shit" and "ass". Saucy for her generation of women I suppose, but piss her off and they would fly.

In no way would I consider my Mom to have been rude or aggressive; she never provoked people or started trouble, but she would stand up for herself anytime she felt she or her family were wronged or threatened. It didn't matter that she was around 5'2" and 105 lbs most of her life.

When she was young she was a waitress at a popular restaurant in the same neighborhood where Dr. Eve's office is now. One night a big brassy kind of a woman came in to the restaurant, drunk and loud. She insulted my mother and pulled her hair. My mother balled up her fist and punched the lady right in the face, sending her sailing across the room, knocking her out.

I know of at least three times in her life where my mother actually pulled a gun on someone. Once on an abusive man in her life, once on some Jehovah's Witnesses who wouldn't take "no" for an answer, and once on a man who pulled up in a car and was naked from the waist down, preparing to expose himself to me and my friend who were swimming in a kiddie pool in our back yard. I personally witnessed the last one. And I'm pretty sure she'd have shot either of the two abusers if they'd gone any further. She wouldn't have missed either.

I'm painting a picture of some sort of hard woman, but my mother was classy and strikingly beautiful with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes, big full lips, and a small, curvy body. Most of her life she dressed sharp every day and always had on full makeup. She went to the hairdresser regularly and always had long red fingernails.

My mother used to tell me we were decedent of Blackfoot Indian on her mother's side, French on her father's side, and somehow she was convinced we were distantly related to John Dillinger. One day I'm going to look into that; it might explain a lot.