Thursday, January 8, 2009

Here's One For Ya...

Remember that scene from the movie "Jaws" where Brody, Quint, and Hooper are comparing shark stories? They kept "one-upping" each other; with each story came a bigger scar.

A similar thing happened to me the other night. I was having a conversation with someone who has also had relationships with alcoholic men. We started talking about the really out of control nights. It's scary when you think of the insane things the disease has driven us all to do. The more I thought about that, the more I wanted to write about it. I'd never air our dirty laundry, so I'll use a story I read in a book about a woman named Sheryl to make my point.

"I couldn't stand the sight of my husband. I had nothing but contempt for him. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to leave him. I couldn't make myself do much of anything except worry and check up on him.

My turning point was the night I chased him with a butcher knife. It was my lowest point. I was running through the house screaming and raving, when I suddenly became aware, for the first time, of me. I had gone mad. I was crazy-completely out of control-and he just stood there calmly looking at me. I knew then I had to do something to get help for me."

Sheryl joined a support group shortly after that incident. It was at those meetings that she began to label herself and her loss of control as codependency. She later divorced her husband.

When it gets that bad, it's time to find the "Courage to change the things you can".

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