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For some reason, this week I have felt very lonely. Even when I'm with other people I feel lonely.

I have a friend who very much enjoys solitude. In fact, he prefers it. That is very hard for me to grasp, but maybe I should try, because he seems far more content than I am. It's my codependence.

I don't know how to find happiness within myself. I'm still seeking it from others. When others aren't around, giving me constant validation, I'm not happy.

I've also been particularly hard on myself this week, feeling I've made several bad decisions. Well really a couple of bad decisions and one stupid mistake. I'm beating the hell out of myself for them all; second guessing my every move. Feeling like I'm not even capable of making good decisions.

Im sure I'll snap out of this, and I'd really love to be able to entertain my readers with some happy, witty entries, but this journal is about my struggles with codependence, and this Sunday morning, I'm losing.