Last Christmas I received a book from my sister-in-law, Pinkie. It was something I had asked for. A book called "The Love Dare". This book and it's concept was featured in the film "Fireproof". I wrote about it in "Detach" on December 4, 2010. Anyway, I'm ashamed to say I just now picked up the book and started reading it. I'm intrigued with it so far. When I read the first chapter, I decided these ideals could work with any relationship--not just a spouse. So I decided to try an experiment. I decided to implement these ideas in all my relationships. My family, coworkers, and friends. I was anxious to see how trying them may benefit not only my friends and family, but also how they might affect me. So today I tried....and failed. Stress at work was just a bit much, so I decided to skip the coworker part, and just focus on my family and a few friends at this time. So I plan to start over again tomorrow. Of course I will be documenting my results. I hope some of you may even join me to see how this works. I don't want to get in trouble for plagiarism, so I will try to put the concepts into my own words.
We're sometimes at our worst around the people we love the most. When we are busy in the kitchen and turn around to find our child under our feet we might lash out with "Billy!! Watch where you're going!!" If we did the same to a stranger in the store we would say "Oh, excuse me!". After a few years of wedded bliss, a married couple surely finds the honeymoon has worn off and the littlest things can become incredibly annoying. That's where "The Love Dare" comes in.
The Bible tells us love is patient and kind. Learning patience is the place to start. The key. When you learn patience, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation.
For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience, and to say nothing negative at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you will regret.
I never thought of myself as an impatient or a negative person, but in many situations, I certainly am. Until you start keeping track, you may be very surprised how many negative comments come out of your mouth in any given day. I certainly was!! I attempted this at work today and failed miserably, but I've done fairly well practicing it with my friends and family. So tomorrow, I will focus on a much smaller group of people. I want to see how this affects my closest relationships, and how it affects me.
Try this dare with me. Tomorrow....pick a person or a small group of people. Practice patience, and NOTHING NEGATIVE comes out of your mouth. I welcome your comments.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.