I am happy to report that I am feeling better today. I got some stuff out yesterday. Also, the Christmas tree is down and the house is getting back to normal. Crazy as it sounds, I think that helped as much as anything.
So remember the book I was reading? The one that talks about exhausted working women turning sleep into the new sex? Well, now the book has raised another interesting topic; how the "housewife" evolved into the "stay-at-home mom".
The idea is that when we were youth, the world revolved around the grown ups, and what they needed to accomplish during the course of a day. Parents purchased homes near playgrounds so their children could be entertained and out of the house while mother cooked and got everything ready for father to come home. The term "Soccer Mom" didn't even exist in June Cleaver's day. Now, the world seems to revolve around our kids. We feel an obligation to stimulate them non-stop with multiple sports, music lessons, and other activities. Birthday parties have become social events, costing hundreds of dollars, and family vacations are centered around entertaining the children more so than the parents.
Is this the fault of the children? Of course not. I think many of us grew up feeling like one day we'd give our kids all the things our parents could not or would not give us. Many baby boomers were starved for some attention from their parents. Now we want to compensate. Have we gone overboard with it? I think so. I have one friend (a working mom) who's kids are in so many activities, there are often multiple games and practices in one day. Almost every single post this friend puts on Facebook is an exhausting list of the tasks she must happily perform for the children, or how successful these kids are. Never a post about what she's thinking, feeling, or doing; only the triumphs of the children. The end of each post always reads "I love it!".
Kids are the future of our country and ultimately, of the human race. It's important to love and educate them, and make them the best young adults they can be. But I think we need to be careful not to lose ourselves along the way. Whether we are liberated, busy working mothers or liberated, busy stay-at-home mom's, we shouldn't completely lose the lessons of the housewife.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.