Trapped In A Corner

Even though we got to see each other once in awhile, the distance between us started to become too much. Riding it out was no longer an option. It was either break up or get married. Chris started talking about how if we got married he could wear his dress blues and there would fellow Marines, swords and lots of ceremony. The idea was romantic, but somehow knew I wasn't ready to leave my Mom and Dad and move across the country and live on a Marine base.

Everyone here was telling me how girls flock around military bases looking for a husband and that there were probably women everywhere. At some point I knew Chris would have to go to Okinawa, Japan for awhile and the thought of that was just too much. Some guys at school were starting to ask me out. My parents were upset that I was sitting home every weekend. I was 18 years old and I was trapped in a corner.

My memory is almost as fuzzy about our break up as it was on how we got started. I don't remember if it was in person, on the phone or a Dear John Letter. I don't remember drama or tears or really anything about it. Suddenly, some time around 1982 Chris W was just gone, and it was my doing.

The rest of the 1980's were my lost years. Throughout my entire miserable 7 year marriage to my first husband David, I dreamt about Chris on a regular basis. I realized his joining the Marines was the best decision he could have made for himself and his future but I often wondered what would have happened if we'd stayed together. I wondered if he'd ever married. I wondered if he was back in town, if he had children. Where did he work? I wondered what he looked like. I wondered if he ever thought of me.

Little did I know that nine years later in 1991 I would find out the answers to every single one of these questions....face to face.