Grief Stages

Bargaining

After we have calmed down, we attempt to strike a bargain with life, ourselves, another person, or God. If we do such and such or if someone else does this or that, then we won't have to suffer the loss. We are not attempting to postpone the inevitable; we are attempting to prevent it.

Sometimes the deals we negotiate are reasonable and productive: "If my spouse and I get counseling, then we won't have to lose our relationship." Sometimes our bargains are absurd: "I used to think if I just kept the house cleaner or if I cleaned the refrigerator good enough this time, then my husband wouldn't drink any more," recalls the wife of an alcoholic.
-Codependent No More

I've done a great deal of bargaining in my day. Some of it productive, most of it absurd. Usually I tie my bargains into weight loss or appearance. "I'll lose weight and then he'll love me so much he won't want to (fill in the blank with whatever it is I don't want him to do)". But I've also done my share of meeting half way. Trying to figure out what I can do to fix the problem and avert a "tragedy". Sometimes it prevents the loss, often it does not.