I dreamed about my mother again last night. I went somewhere and saw her there. She looked good. Happy, healthy. But as usual when I have those dreams, I was frightened of her. After all, she's not supposed to be there.
I guess I'm thinking about my mom a lot right now with the holidays upon us. When I was young, my mom always cooked a big Thanksgiving dinner. My mouth would water, and I couldn't wait to snatch a bite of the turkey as my dad sliced it with the electric knife. It was always one of my favorite days. I would stuff myself to the point of absolute misery.
Back then there was no "Black Friday" to work yourself up over. There was no pressure to have Christmas decorations up for Thanksgiving. In fact, the only Christmas decorations we had all season, were a Christmas tree and some plastic electric candles in the window. Oh, and Mom would tape all the Christmas cards up around the door way. That was about it.
I wore my mom's Sicilian Hex ring today, just to feel close to her. Nothing has been the same since she's been gone. Strange things have happened to my family. Nothing she could have prevented really, just seems like with each passing year, things get more and more...complicated.
I know it's only natural for things to evolve and change. That's life. And for my kids, the way things are now is the norm. These are the Thanksgivings they will remember when they grow up. My son says it's his favorite holiday. He loves having the families together, and all the food. Now he and my daughter are the ones nibbling at the turkey before dinner. So while things are different from before, now I'm the mom, and new, happy Thanksgiving memories are being created with my own children.
6 hours ago