Thursday, April 14, 2011

I Got A Peaceful, Easy Feeling

So, one week ago today I met the psychiatrist. We'll call her Dr.Feelgood. I loved her. After an in-depth profile and interview, my diagnosis: Severe Depression accompanied by Generalized Anxiety Disorder. No big surprise really.

Anyway, I am happy to report that one week later I am on some anti anxiety meds, designed to slow down the swirling thoughts in my head which I have attempted to describe so many times in this journal. And they are working. I'm able to concentrate better, stay more focused, and feel much more normal. I don't feel stoned, or sleepy or out of it, just...well....normal.

Since I am a public person and talk openly about a lot of things, I've opened myself up to a myriad of opinions about taking any type of mood altering drugs. They are a "crutch", they are "masking the real problem", and a host of other things. To that I say, so is alcohol, so is excessive eating, and shopping. All these things can be used to whisk us away from stress and problems, and all can have dangerous side effects if abused.

All I know is that I feel better and more stable right now than I have in a very, very long time. In addition to the meds, I will begin seeing a new counselor soon. With a calm head and some stability, I may actually be able to focus on what I need to do to fix the things in my life that feel broken. There's no way I could have ever done that with my finger in the electric socket and a hurricane in my head.

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