The other day I made the comment to Scarlett that "God laughs at our plans", meaning just when we think we've got everything figured out, we discover there's another plan in place for us. I got a dose of that today.
My aunt & uncle are visiting from California and have taken a road trip with my Dad. My Dad had his regular 6 month check up appointment this morning before they got started. They called from the road to tell me that my Dad's doctor has scheduled a stress test for him this Friday. I was not expecting that. He wants me to be there with him. I was not expecting that either.
My initial reaction was confusion, because my Dad had not mentioned feeling bad. The good news is that the doctor is mostly doing this as a precaution and believes he probably won't find anything. He thinks the discomfort is being brought on by something else. So at that point, I must admit I began to feel a bit sorry for myself because I happen to be on a "ME" vacation right now. That is very selfish, I know. I'm just being honest with my readers as always.
After all this swirl of emotion I had a harsh realization about something. My Dad is alone now so if he has to be hospitalized, has surgery, or becomes ill, I'm pretty much going to be his primary caregiver. How the hell I'm going to pull that off while working full time and taking care of my own family, I don't know. My sister lives out of town and has a barrage of health problems herself, so I guess it's going to be me. My Dad has always been so healthy and active that I just haven't given this much thought. Until today, that is.
If you've never had a sick parent you are lucky. I watched my poor Mother go through many illnesses and surgeries. I visited her often, but let's face it....my Dad was her caregiver. He sat with her day after day, week after week in the hospital, he changed her bandages, he administered her medicine, he bathed her. I've never had to care for a sick adult who needs someone to be there every day. It terrifies me. I don't think I even know how to do it.
God won't give us more than we can handle and none of us know what tomorrow will bring, so I'll try not to worry too much about this. I will try to take life one day at a time. Tonight I am going to help my kids with homework and spend some relaxing time with my family. That's what I'm going to do today. I'll worry about tomorrow....tomorrow.
Update From The Compound
11 hours ago
2 comments:
My dear friend...you are more prepared for this than you think. Remember when you were looking at plans for your house? Well, I remember you specifically saying that you really liked the layout since your folks were getting older and in the event that one of them needed to come live with you that your dining room would make a perfect bedroom with it's own bath right there. Remember that? It will be just fine and yes I'm sure it will take a lot of patience but I think you will be a great caregiver if it even becomes necessary. Hang in there...I will be praying for your dad.
Thanks....I guess you are right. And maybe that time won't ever come, you just never know.
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