Fly Me To The Moon

I always said that I would wait until the right moment to leave my first husband. I said I never wanted to look back and have regrets. But at that point in my life, no matter how miserable I'd become, I wasn't ready to jump without a safety net. Enter into my life Michael.

Michael and I worked together. He was 19 years old when I first met him. I was 25 and in the throws of a miserable marriage. Michael and I became friends but as my marriage began to crumble before my eyes I started to feel more. We'd go to lunch and Michael would tell me how beautiful I was. He told me how I didn't deserve the punishment that I was living. This eventually gave me the strength I needed to make that final decision to end my marriage.

Michael and I started seeing each other....alot. By now he was 20 and I was 26. Dating a young man who was 6 years my junior was just exactly what the doctor ordered. Every time Michael saw me or called me on the phone he said "Hey Beautiful!" And the sex....well, I've purposely avoided discussing that topic in this "Kiss and Tell" series, but it would be completely impossible for me to tell the Michael Story and not mention it. I shall try to refrain from mentioning it with any other man I discuss, but for this story I have to. The sex was insane. Bodies sweating, shit flying off the walls, knock-everything-off-a-desk kind of sex. I'm quite sure we'd have both gotten fired if we'd been caught doing some of the things we did at work. I had seven years of repressed emotions inside me. Four of which I spent thinking I was inadequate and undesirable. Thinking I was a bad wife. Thinking I didn't deserve happiness. Well, Michael was a passionate young man and the year I spent with him erased all that. I was becoming confident and Mary came back to life!

Michael and I spent one wonderful year together. Shortly after a long weekend in St. Louis he suddenly broke things off with me. No warning at all--just broke it off. He had turned 21 and wanted to go out to the bars with his friends and just didn't want to have to "ask permission" or answer to anyone. Because of how unexpected this was, it was probably the worst my heart has ever been broken. I didn't see it coming. I had unwisely put all my eggs in Michael's basket and for the first time in my life I found myself without a safety net. No one waiting in the wings to catch me. Mary Bailey was a free, single woman. And she was scared to death.

Michael was the best thing that could have possibly happened to me at that particular time in my life. We could never have made a life together, really, but I will always love him. He picked me up and flew me to the moon when I needed it most. The confidence I found in myself the year I spent with Michael would stay with me forever.