I'll bet she doesn't even remember it, but many years ago, my friend Old Beth told me something, and I've never forgotten it. It may have been when I was struggling with my first marriage, I'm not sure of the circumstances. Whatever it was, I was feeling uncertain about what to do, and where life was going to take me. I made the comment that I wish I had a crystal ball so I could see in to the future and know what was going to become of me. Old Beth said "No you don't".
Old Beth's dad had a series of health problems. She said if five years before, she had looked into the future and seen all he was about to have to go through, it would have literally scared her to death. That has stuck with me all these years. Sometimes I want to know what will become of me. Do I control the outcome? Do others around me control it? Or is it simply God and His plan? One He's had in place since the minute I was born? Maybe it's a little of all three. Either way, I'm pretty sure Old Beth was right. We just need to be patient and stick around to see how it all works out.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.