I'm beaten down tonight, friends. Day after day, week after week of brutal heat is taking it's toll on me. It's too hot to sit outside after work, so I feel like some type of shut in. It's too hot to sleep well at night, and too hot to cook. Besides the heat, I had to go through the pain last night of saying goodbye once again to Kitty, who spent a wonderful couple of weeks here at home. We got to share a lot of quality time, and had a great visit, but saying goodbye to her rips something out of my heart, and takes a lot out of me.
My self esteem is lower than it's been in my life, and my job continues to leave me unfulfilled and frustrated. I feel that depression is trying to creep back up on me and I'm fighting with all I have, but just like before, all I can think of is getting home and shutting down.
I'm not saying this for attention or pity, or to try to find someone to offer a solution. This blog is a journal of my life, and this is my life right now. Hopefully in a few years I'll read this back and remember this dark period, and think how glad I am that I was able to pull through it and feel good again.
6 hours ago