Women fought hard for liberation and equal rights in the 1960's. As they began to grow tired of the "June Cleaver" lifestyle, women wanted to ditch their aprons and venture out into the business world. They wanted a voice of their own. They wanted to show the world they were capable of producing more than just offspring. Thanks to those pioneers, most of us now work outside the home; often contributing as much or more to the household budget than the man of the house. In fact, it's more unusual these days for a woman to stay at home than to be employed.
I'm reading a book right now, loaned to me by Kitty, that takes an interesting look at some of the effects this movement has caused in the last 30 or so years. The most interesting to me, plays out in the bedroom. According to this book, women of today have considerably less sex than the women of the 1950's. The main reason for this delcine? After fighting fires all day at work, we rush to pick up the children, and are lucky if we arrive home before 6:00 p.m. Then begins the second job of cooking, helping with homework, and attempting to fit in a day's worth of domestic chores in 30 minutes; usually unsuccessfully. Now, many of us don't even end our workday when we leave the office. With the advent of cell phones, laptop computers, and smart phones, we are bringing work home, and even on vacation with us by staying in constant communication with the problems of the office. This results in frustration and exhaustion by 10:00 p.m., and quite frankly, most women are just too darned tired to think about a romp in the bedroom. This phenomenon gave birth to the phrase "Sleep is the new sex".
I remember that as a child, my mother would start her chores immediately after she saw my Dad off to work. By the time "Another World" came on in the afternoons, she was ready to lay on the couch and have a nap. After an hour or so, she got up feeling refreshed, and started dinner. So by the time my Dad returned from work, at around 5:00, a lovely meal of fried meat, potatoes, and a vegetable was on the table. By 6:00 the dishes were done and it was family time. Instead of her day just beginning, her day was winding down. I guarantee she was feeling spunkier by 10:00, than I am today.
Now before you all start sending me hate mail, saying I'm trying to undo 35 years of blood, sweat, and tears, and I'm trying to send us all back to the days of high heels and pearls....let me assure you, I am not. I've worked full time outside the home since I was 19 years old. But I do think there's merit to this subject. Unless I win the lottery, I don't see myself turning in a resignation anytime soon, but I may just take a look at refinancing my mortgage. If I could cut off ten years, maybe I could retire at 60 instead of 70!
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.