Saturday, December 25, 2010

Do I Smell Cake? And Beer?

Well, another Christmas is winding down, and I was going to write about my Christmas observations, but after spending an hour composing the entry, I have changed my mind. Instead I will say "to each his own" and drop it.

Instead I think I will focus on something different. Like any good codependent I would always rather focus on what those around me are doing, and completely ignore what I've been doing. But today is my birthday, and what better day to think about oneself and what you want for the coming year.

Well dear readers, I'm a mess. I've gained about 12 pounds since the summer. I eat fast food breakfast every day, and I haven't set foot on the treadmill in months. I'm drinking more alcohol than ever, and seem to have lost all motivation for anything healthy or productive. I keep thinking of that commercial that says "a body at rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion". Well, my body has been resting so long it doesn't know anything else. At work I daydream about going home and getting on the couch with my cats and my blanket. My joints are stiff and aching, and my heart rate hasn't been above a soft flicker in quite some time. I make noises when I get up from the couch and my bed because it hurts.

I'd like to sit here and type that I've dug deep inside myself and found the motivation I need to get back in the zone, but that would be a lie. Instead, I sit here thinking about how nice it would have been to have Eggs Benedict and mimosas for breakfast, and how I'd like to stay in my pajamas all day.

God has blessed me with a relatively healthy body. I bitch constantly about other people being inactive, unhealthy and eating poorly. For my birthday gift to myself, I am going to start praying that I find the motivation I need to get up and move. I want to feel like I did awhile back when I was excited about delicious, healthy foods, and exercise made me feel really, really good. If I could just find that part of myself again, that would be the best birthday present ever.

No comments: