Ouch

Something very strange happened to me this morning. I poured my coffee, and with cobwebs still in my eyes, headed to the computer to pay some bills, write the previous journal entry, and check Facebook.

When I brought up the Facebook "News Feed", the very first entry that popped up was "Mike Brown is in a relationship". Now if you'll remember back to some old journal entries, Mike Brown is the boy who grew up across the street from me. The boy with the infamous black Mustang that I loved from afar my entire adolescence.

Mike Brown got married young. His wife was (and still is) an alcoholic. He couldn't take it anymore, and divorced her several years ago.

So when I saw those words "Mike Brown is in a relationship", I just sat here with my coffee and stared at the screen like some sort of idiot. I don't know why. I'm middle aged and married, and I don't have any intentions of being single again, but for some reason I just kept sitting here, staring at those words.

I think it's kind of like when your favorite singer or movie star gets married. You know it's completely unrealistic for you to ever be together, but you feel put out anyway. I remember feeling this exact same way when Fonzie was dating that bitch Pinkie Tuscadero.

When I was little, I always dreamed that one day I'd be Mrs. Mike Brown. In fact, that was the title of a journal entry of mine (August 1, 2009). I've always known that this will never be, but reading those words this morning pulled at a little girl's heartsrings anyway.