Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Follow Up To Yesterday's Post

Actual telephone conversation overheard at work today:

Mom (yelling) to Son: "You PROMISED you'd pay back the money you owe me by Friday. You didn't!" You're constantly taking advantage of me and I'm sick of it!"

This is so closely related to yesterday's "rescue" triangle that I had to note it. If the mom keeps loaning money to the son then she is enabling him. When she hands over the money she is the "good guy". When she doesn't get it back in a timely manner, the halo goes away and the pitchfork comes out. Next, she becomes the victim who is unappreciated and constantly being taken advantage of.

Will she loan him money next time? Me thinks she will.

On a related note....major props to Scarlett. She has a coworker who desperately SEEKS to be rescued. This person is only comfortable when she is in the "victim" mode, and for years she has held supreme power over the other three people in the department, ultimately turning the three of them into victims. Everyone involved was absolutely miserable. Today, Scarlett took some things from yesterday's post. She identified the signs that it was coming on. She refused to take her normal role in the daily cycle with this person, and she removed the victim--herself. This stopped the coworker from going into her roll (the victim role--on the bottom), and changed the course of their entire day. This was an incredibly empowering moment for Scarlett and her entire team!! Way to go on your incredible victory!!!

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