Perfect Plan

I like Joel Osteen. I really enjoy reading his writing. Often it's extremely inspiring, and i believe inspiration is something we all need.

He's big on the idea that God has this perfect master plan for us all, and if we just relax and let it fall into place, it will. He says no person on this planet can stop God's plan from happening.

I believe that. I just don't know what the plan for me might be, and sometimes that makes me crazy.

I'm trying very hard to just sit back and allow it to unfold. Just stop trying to dictate it all and relax.

As I wrote in the early days of this blog; it is by letting go of the need to control that we might finally gain control.

"Like" It Or Die!

Why would a seemingly normal and reasonable person post something on their Facebook page that says "Like=Heaven. Ignore=Hell"?

Are they trying to prove their faith? Or maybe they want to put some type of curse on us all; I don't know. But I'm a busy person. When I have a minute to sit down at night and check Facebook, I want some mindless entertainment. Cute kitties--pictures of kids. I don't want to have to make stressful decisions that will impact me in to the afterlife!

I didn't sign on with the intention that I may be forced to contemplate eternal condemnation by not clicking the "Like" button! It's just too stressful for a Thursday evening.

My Comment Card

We have these comment cards at work where our customers rate their satisfaction with our service.

A friend from work uses the phrases from the cards to rate her feelings about things. "I was TOTALLY DISSATISFIED" with my husband over the weekend!" or "I am SATISFIED with this pizza". But our favorite phrase is the one I am about to use to describe my mood of the past days and weeks. "I am NEITHER SATISFIED NOR DISSATISFIED with my life right now".

I can't really complain. There's been peace in the valley here at my house lately. That's pretty huge for me. I like calm and quiet, even though things aren't completely ideal either. But all in all; at least for now, I can live with being "NEITHER SATISFIED NOR DISSATISFIED".

March 50

Today is the 50th birthday of my friend, and Detach reader, Kim. I've been friends with Kim for over 30 years, since the 8th grade. I have known her husband just as long. He turned 50 this month as well.

I recently asked Kim's thoughts on the subject. She told me she is embracing 50. She spent her birthday at her very favorite place, the beach.

Kim told me Cher's song "If I Could Turn Back Time" keeps popping in her head. But, she says, you know, we can't turn back time. Can't change it - so embrace it!

So far, turning 40 was much worse for her than 50. She says she has a few more aches than she used to, and had to see a chiropractor for the first time in Jan. She hurt her back, in yoga!!

Kim told me, "I could, but won't get philosophical about 50. I don't feel my age most days. And I think for as much as I've been in the sun, my skin has held up pretty good. Thanks to moisturizer from about the time I was 14!"

Happy Birthday Kim!

These Dreams

I recently took a business trip with three other women. We opted to travel by car, but the drive was several hours coming and going. We passed a lot of farm land on the trip, and one lady kept mentioning that she frequently has this dream about being lost in a barn. It kind of became a joke on the trip, as we passed lots of creepy old barns.

I’ve always been fascinated by dreams. I’ve written about that in this journal before. But I’m particularly fascinated with recurring dreams.

There are some dreams I’ve had since I was a child. I’ve had these dreams dozens, maybe even hundreds of times. They may have changed a teeny bit as I’ve gotten older, but the premise of the dream is still the same.

In a dream I have pretty frequently, I am trying to defend myself against someone who wants to cause me harm and I have a gun that won’t shoot. The bullets jam, or they fizzle, and come out with no force. Or I have a weapon, but I left it in the car, or I lost it.

Another recurring dream is that I see a giant tidal wave coming towards me and there’s no place to hide. I run as fast as I can, away from the water, and sometimes I try to get to higher ground; maybe inside a high rise hotel.

I also dream that I see a tornado in the distance. It’s erratic in it’s path and I’m trying to decide which way to run.

Sometimes I dream I see an airplane, and it’s going to crash. Usually the engines are dying and it plummets to the ground. Only once do I remember being a passenger on the plane. Usually I’m watching it from a distance.

Another recurring dream is that I’m driving on a road that has railroad track after railroad track after railroad track. Trains are coming and there’s no lights or crossing gates. I have to floor the accelerator to avoid being smashed.

I'd say all these dreams represent a feeling of being powerless. Of going up against something that is way too big to fight. I guess they all demonstrate codependent tendencies--the need to be in control, but the feeling that your obstacles are way greater that you.

The good thing is, I don’t typically die, or even get hurt in these recurring dreams. They just frighten me.

Can't Find The Words

There's a thought I want to write, but I'm unable to put it in to words. I'm not sure if it's too complicated, or if I'm just too tired.

Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

One Down....

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