Wednesday, October 1, 2014

On This Day

On this day in 1983 I married my first husband.  Today would have been our 31st wedding anniversary. 

Naturally I think about it every year. Almost every year the weather is fabulous. I could probably count on one hand the years when it was rainy or overcast. Today was no exception. 

Sometimes it feels like that marriage never happened. It seems like it happened to a different person--not me. For the first few years after we divorced I felt a little bittersweet on this day. Glad to be free from the betrayal, the lies, and the drama, but sad at the loss of my marriage. 

Then there was a period of not thinking about it too much one way or the other. During the years when my children were small and my life was hectic, I didn't have time to think much about it. Today I've thought about it a lot. 

Sometime around the year 2000, he was involved in a terrible car accident. When I last spoke with his family, a year or so ago, they told me he had undergone19 surgeries since that accident. I didn't ask about him too much, but I am guessing he is disabled now and unable to work.  I can't help but think how different my life would be if I had stayed with him. For starters, I would have likely been involved in the accident. His wife was with him at the time. I am thankful to God I am out of that situation and out of that marriage. My life has not been perfect. At certain times it has been very hard. But I certainly would not change it for that life. 

So today I am feeling thankful. Very thankful to have the life I have.

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