Sunday, October 17, 2010

What Now?

I'm not feeling so well today. Having a bad codependent day. I'm not even sure it's codependence. Alcohol was involved, but I don't really know how you'd label this. All I know is that through a series of events that happened in the blink of an eye, I was humiliated beyond my wildest dreams last night.

I've played the scene over and over and over in my head and in retrospect I guess I should have known better than to put myself in the situation. But now the damage is done and I really don't know how to undo it. I'm not sure if it's possible to undo it.

This is one of those times that I wish I could just rewind and do over. But there are no do-overs in life and I've got to deal with what happened. Right now I'm trying to find the lesson learned, or the "good" in what happened, but I'm having a lot of trouble with that. The only thing that's going to make me feel better is seeing the people involved and talking it out with them. Trust me, that's going to be enormously awkward.

Right now running away sounds like a better idea, but I guess I can't do that.

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