When I first heard that Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley were a "couple", I had the same reaction as most of America in 1994; "Is this for real?". Last night Lisa Marie's interview with Oprah aired, and today I have a whole new take on the situation. At least on Lisa Marie's half of it.
The interview captivated me. So far I have watched it twice, and I suspect I'll be watching it more. There are three reasons for this. One, Lisa Marie's face is a haunting reflection of her father, and I can't get enough of looking at her. Two, her story is unlike anything anyone could dream up, having close, personal relationships with the two most iconic men in the history of pop culture, then watching them both crumble before her eyes. And three, even if you strip away all the fame and money, Lisa Marie Presley is a recovering codependent, and at the end of the day, codependence is the reason I began writing this journal.
During the interview, I heard the word "detach" at least twice. Lisa Marie talked about the "highs" she experienced when things were good with Michael Jackson. She tried very hard to explain how magnetic and powerful he was and that if you were fortunate enough for him to "let you in", just how wildly intoxicating it could be. She noted that she's never experienced anything like that with anyone else in her life....except her father.
By the end of the interview you came to the belief that she was very much in love with MJ, but that she felt she was "disposable" to him, just like everyone else around him. Just like everyone who surrounded her father. She emphasized that when you have that kind of fame and mix it with addiction, it is poison.
Lisa Marie commented that the happiest times in her life were when she was "taking care" of MJ. The lowest lows where when she could not. I don't care if you are Lisa Marie Presley referring to Michael Jackson, or any other codependent person who has loved an addict, this feeling is exactly the same. As I listened to her, I "got it".
The day after Michael Jackson died, Lisa Marie wrote something in her blog that is very touching to me. Touching, because in reading it I feel her pain, but mostly because it could have been written by anyone in the world who has had a close relationship with an addict. In a separate entry I will print her entire journal entry from that day, but for now, this is the excerpt I want to emphasize:
"The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.
All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.
I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.
At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.
He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.
When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad."
For what it's worth, I believe that Lisa Marie is sincere and that she did love Michael Jackson very much. Addiction and codependence have no boundaries. I believe she saw her father in him and somehow believed that if she tried hard enough, she just might be able to save him. Like so many codependent women, she was wrong. I am pleased that since his death, Lisa Marie has had an awakening, and now realizes how all the pieces of the puzzle come in to place. From one codependent woman to another, I admire her, and wish her peace, and all the very best life has to offer.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.