I'm feeling a lot better today. The problem from yesterday isn't gone away, but it's much better. Still feeling very awkward around all the people involved, and I think I will continue to feel that way for awhile.
A strange thing happened to me today at the grocery store. I had a cup of coffee from McDonalds with me while I was doing my early morning shopping. When I got to the coffee aisle I sat it down so I could text a coworker to ask if I needed to pick up a can of coffee to bring back to work. When I got done texting I couldn't find my cup of coffee. I looked everywhere. Then I started thinking maybe I'd sat it down in another aisle. I knew I didn't, but I decided to retrace my steps anyway. No luck. I probably spent 5 minutes staring at the coffee cans, wondering what happened to my drink. It was the strangest feeling! I felt like I was going crazy. My conclusion was that one of the stock boys was walking down the aisle while I was busy texting, and grabbed the coffee off the shelf. It's the only thing I could come up with.
A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
The following two "Detach" journal entries will give you a crash course:
"An Answer to a Prayer" dated Nov 1, 2008 "How Did We Wind Up Here?" dated Nov 2, 2008
About This Journal
In 2008 I had the life changing realization that there was a name for what I'd always felt was "wrong" with me. After 20 years of thumbing through various self-help books. I learned about codependence.
I began writing this journal to document my journey out. Over time, it's evolved into something more. While I still talk about codependence (I know now, it will never totally leave me), this blog has turned into the thumbprint of my life; a therapeutic journal for me to sort out a lifetime of thoughts and memories. I believe in being honest with myself and others, and when something is bothering me, I reach out. With a support team of strong, smart women surrounding us, we can all continue to grow. I'm trying to live my best life, in pursuit of a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.