It's All About Me

Look, we all know I have problems with anxiety. No secret. I honestly could not count the times I have visited a medical doctor for some type of physical condition and been told this condition was directly related to stress. The first time I recall this happening was during my first marriage. That's when I got my first prescription for Xanax. The next time I recall was after my divorce when I went through a nasty breakup with someone I was dating. All ten of my fingers went numb. I was sure I had Multiple Sclerosis. The doctor diagnosed it as stress. Later I went through a bout of my hair falling out. Seriously falling out. Once again; stress. Next it was a series of digestive problems. This one actually turned out to be a combination of stress and a failing gall bladder. Next was a series of migraines. Next, chest pains. I was sure I was gearing up for a heart attack. All stress related.

Yesterday I had a lengthy visit with a neurologist to discuss the latest round of physical ailments I've been having. My ears ring constantly; quite loudly. I've been having balance problems. I flake out and forget things. I have blurred vision. The top of my head and both my temples go numb and tingle. My eye twitches. I have strange headaches. Due to my mother's history with brain aneurysms the doctor is running some tests on me for good measure, but feels confident these are a form of migraines, you guessed it....brought on by stress.

Don't get my wrong; I'm not saying these problems are something I made up, or something in my head. They are true physical ailments triggered by anxiety and stress.

I've been true to my recent pledge to review my checklist and concentrate more on myself but I'm fixin' to step it up a notch. I can't control the factors that cause me stress. They are too numerous to name, but the ones causing me the most stress lately have been work related. I'm going to work at being proactive instead of reactive. During my upcoming week's vacation I may even get a massage. I'm about to kick my healthier eating and exercise up a notch, and I'm going to abstain from alcohol for a month. I may even speak my mind about a few pesky things I've been bottling. I just need to cleanse my body and my mind.

So for the next four weeks, that's exactly what I'm going to do.