I discussed this with my counselor Kate this week. It's interesting, because she feels this stems from a lack of drama in my life. My role has always been the fixer, the rescuer, or basically I've just been walking around trying to figure out the difficult situations I find myself in. I'm not involved in anything complicated currently, so I feel lost.
I know how ridiculous that sounds. Truth is, I wear many different hats--why do I define myself by the role that I have tried so hard from which to break free? The role I had struggled with for so long? I am making great strides in my journey. It is just difficult to accept changes--even if they are changes you want very much. Trust me, this won't be something I struggle with for long. I am enjoying the lack of drama, And I like where I am right now.
As I sit here this morning, both my children are out of town. My son is at the lake, and my daughter left yesterday for a week long vacation in Florida. I realize my role as a mother is also changing. While that is a bit scary, I also welcome it. I love seeing my children grow and thrive. So this Sunday morning, I relax. I will stop wondering where I fit in, and remember my roles as mother, friend, and daughter.
I will try to write more in this journal, as I have been in a dry spell. What to write…? I guess we will find out.