Sunday, April 13, 2014

Sunday State of the Union

Good Sunday morning to everyone. 

I am in a state of high anxiety right now, and I don't like it. I am having multiple physical stress symptoms. Tightness in my chest and racing heartbeat for a couple of weeks now. Dizzy spells for a couple of weeks. Throbbing in my temple for two or three weeks. Now my temples have gone numb. I spent most of the day yesterday imagining I was in the early stages of a stroke, but knowing that probably was not true. Even though I have never experienced these exact symptoms, I know that they are symptomatic of the type of migraines I get. I don't get the typical blasting, blinding headache. Not often anyway.  

I can't even put my finger on exactly what it is that is causing my stress. Multiple things. For instance, I was told in a meeting by my new bosses that in the coming months there would be days I felt like killing myself. Not particularly a great way to make a first impression with your new management team. This, along with everything else that is going on in my life, and I am a walking anxiety machine. I am going to attempt some physical exercise to release some stress from my body; even though what I really want to do is lay down and be still. I know I have to get a grip. 

I wish I saw a way to make significant changes in my life that would relieve some of my stress, but that mountain seems overwhelming, and impossible to climb. I don't like having setbacks like this. I like moving forward, but I guess that isn't always possible. I am not looking for advice or sympathy, or anyone to solve this problem. I am just documenting my feelings in my journal. And today, these are my feelings.

No comments: