Sunday, April 21, 2013

I Will Always Love You

This isn't the first time I've written about my mother's love of singing. I have memories of her singing with her brothers, or to the radio, or just walking through the house, singing for no reason, as far back as I can remember. A love that she passed on to me. She would always tell me, "Honey, just rare back and sing!"

This passion lives on in my daughter, who is now 13. She loves music, and she loves to sing. She knows it's in her blood, and she knows where it came from.

Today marked the 5th anniversary of the death of my mother. Naturally, it was on my mind, and I felt emotional. In the early part of the evening, I sat down on the couch to rest. It was very quiet in the house, and with a cat curled up on my lap, I dozed off. As I was beginning to wake, the sun was beginning to set. The light in the room was fading, and I could hear my daughter upstairs in the shower singing. I was thinking what a nice way that was to wake up. I didn't recognize the song she was singing, but I thought how pretty it was. It began to remind me of myself as a girl, and how my mother loved to hear me sing. I started thinking "Mom would love this". Then, a song I knew. "Stand By Your Man". She was only singing the chorus. I smiled, thinking not only would Mom love that, but so would Scarlett! Then it was quiet for a few seconds. As if she was regrouping. I heard her start to sing in the softest, prettiest voice, "If I...should stay....I would only be in...your way". Instantly tears filled my eyes. My baby girl sang "I Will Always Love You", the whole song, beginning to end, without missing a note or getting a word wrong. She sang it in the style of Dolly Parton, who of course wrote it, and who sings it very softly and with so much heartfelt sadness. I cried. I cried for many reasons. I cried because it was so damn pretty. I cried because I miss my mom, and I thought how much she would have loved hearing it--it was one of her favorite songs. I cried because the love of singing was in my daughter. I cried because I relate to the lyrics at this time in my life. I just cried.

When my daughter came out of the bathroom she saw I had been crying and asked what was wrong. I told her how her song had touched me, and how beautiful and meaningful it was; especially on this day. Tears began to stream down her sweet face. I told her how the gift of song was inside her because of her Mamaw. I told her my tears were tears of joy, not sadness, and that I was sure Mamaw had heard her sing today. She hugged me and I wiped her tears.

It was a beautiful moment I shared with my sweet daughter tonight. I think we'll both always remember it.

1 comment:

Scarlett said...

I felt a flood of emotions and memories when I read this post. First of all, I felt proud that you and I and our love for The First Lady Of Country Music has influenced the little Diva In Training. Second, I was proud for the influence of your mom in my life. I've said it before and I will say it again - she was the first person other than my parents and grandparents to encourage me and my music. I remember vividly sitting down in your basement with my first $75 guitar, barely singing above a whisper and your mom would tell me "Carla, rare back and sing, girl."

I know she and Gram are up in heaven and I've felt their presence when I've sang in public since they left us. I long for the day when I get to heaven and can sing for them once again.