Sunday, November 20, 2011

Three Years Later

The three year anniversary of "Detach" recently came and went without any fanfare. But as this milestone has passed, I have to wonder if I've really made any progress in my journey. Have I really learned anything? Am I better off now than three years ago?

Have I learned anything? Yes, definitely. It's been three years of self discovery and learning how I got where I'm at right now. Learning about the behaviors that have been so crippling to me during much of my life.

My favorite parts of the journal have been writing about my mother and remembering stories from way back when that helped build the foundation for my codependence. But I think my favorite part of the three year journey has been writing the "Kiss and Tell" series; thinking about all my past loves, especially Chris W. Those were probably the entries that commanded the most emotion from me.

Have I made any progress? Honestly, not much. I'm still desperately codependent, and have a very hard time being pleased with just myself for more than a very short period of time. I'm still hopelessly looking to others for my happiness. Will this stop me from trying? No. At least I recognize it more than ever now.

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