Thursday, January 16, 2014


For the past 25 years I have spent my life trying to change people. I've written about it many, many times in this journal.  This compulsion intensified steadily as the years passed. I believe it came to a climax with my first Detach entry. 

You know how sometimes you have a bad headache, then you take some aspirin, and a little while later it hits you that your headache is gone? That's how this seemed to occur to me. I recently realized I have pretty much stopped trying to change other people's behavior. By far, the area where I have made the most progress, is accepting the fact that I can not, and will not ever change another human being. No matter how beautiful I am, no matter how sweet and nice I am, no matter how mean I am, no matter how smart I am, no matter what! I honestly, truly believe that for the past 2 1/2 years, I have embraced this fact and live by it. I remember distinctly the day I crossed over. 

There is still plenty for me to work on, but what a burden off my shoulders to know that I don't have to keep fighting. What an intense relief to just let them be. I may not always like what they are doing, but letting go of the need to control is the greatest gift I have given myself in many, many years. It is very liberating to just let people live the way they want to live. 

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