Off And Running

It's going to be 77 degrees today. There's no avoiding it--Spring is definitely on the way. For me, that only means one thing.....dreading The Kentucky Derby.

Those who know me understand the Derby and I don't have that great of a friendship. My husband usually takes a week and a half off work to "enjoy" it. As with most addicts he has often taken it way too far. I remember a friend of mine used to say "why do you get so mad? It's one week to cut loose and have some fun!" But at our house it wasn't one week; it was three, maybe four. And it wasn't fun--not for me anyway. The only thing I could count on was drama, and plenty of it. Granted, the past two or three years have been a big improvement over years past, but still very unpredictable, and uncertain for me.

But I'm not writing this journal entry about my husband's past Derby Deeds. I'm writing it about me. Derby is huge in this town and people are already starting to talk about it. This typically sets my mood for the next several weeks. I start to dread, anticipate, and use my codependent fortune telling abilities to predict the future. This is not healthy for me or anyone around me.

So starting today I am committing to myself (and you guys) that I will not sit and obsess about something that is still eight weeks away. When I feel myself slipping into that place I will become aware of it and work on getting myself out.

This will be my first Derby since discovering and accepting my codependence issues. I can't promise I'm going to be hugely successful at this, but I can promise I will work on it.