Unhealthy Family Behavior, Part Three

My twelve year old son and a bunch of his friends got themselves into a bit of trouble recently. As a result, most of the boys in the neighborhood have been grounded, and haven't really been allowed to hang around with each other.

Tonight I was at my Dad's house and he was telling me that he thinks my husband and I are being too hard on my son. He thinks we should let the boys see each other, just make sure they stay outside. "Boys will be boys", he said. And then he went on to say that he blames my husband and me for what happened. Said it was our fault for letting my son spend the night with his friends. Said he tried to warn us that was a bad idea, so...he blames us.

This isn't the first time my Dad blamed something my son did on me (Unhealthy Family Behavior Part One, dated 12/7/2009) and something tells me it won't be the last.

And I wonder how I got to the point in my life where I think I'm responsible for the health, happiness, and well being of everyone around me????

Rattlesnakes and Jeanie's Weenies

It was another hectic day at work, but during the drive home my mind started to wander. A song I heard on the radio took me back to a really fun time in my life. I was remembering the period of my life when Miss Pamela and I were single, and went out to see bands every Saturday night. Sometimes we would see rock bands, sometimes blues bands. Sometimes we met guys, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes we got food late at night. We drank a little, but not too much. People always asked us if we were sisters. We always told them "yes".

I still love rock and roll, and I still love Miss Pamela, we're still great friends. And I will always cherish those Saturday nights we spent together.

Everyone Can See THAT'S Dangerous.....Right?

Kitty and her husband Bobby have been eating organic foods for a few years now. Yesterday during a phone conversation with her, I started wondering why it's taken me until recently to get on board. I think I figured it out.

When Kitty and Bobby first started talking about organic food and the hazards of commercially produced meats, I thought it was a little over the top. I remember at the time, I was thinking that the government must think drugs given to animals are important, or else they wouldn't be there.....right?

In other words, I wasn't purposely putting myself and my family in jeopardy because I didn't care; I was putting myself and my family in jeopardy because I was misinformed. It's kinda like the mom you see driving around with her baby in her lap, or an older child in the front seat with no seat belt. It's not that the mom doesn't love her child, or that she wants her to get thrown through the windshield in a crash, it's that she doesn't comprehend the danger, or the statistic that car crashes are the number one cause of death for young children. Or that she simply thinks it won't happen to her.

I know now, that most of the meat and milk in the grocery store comes from animals that are pumped full of antibiotics and steroids. Some are now cloned animals. I know now that no matter what anyone says, this is NOT good for our bodies, and it's NOT there to protect us. It's that way so the product can get to market in half the time. It's there for the sake of Cheap and Convenient, and you can bet that the less it costs, the faster it was produced. And it's going to stay that way until consumers send a message.

There are plenty of sources for pure meats and produce if you look for them. Find a farmer's market. Get to know a local farm family. Trust me, they are eager to get to know you! And if you think I'm fantatical, crazy or don't know what I'm talking about, have a conversation with a local farmer, or better yet, do a little research about where your current food supply is coming from. You may be unpleasantly surprised.

It All Connected

If you've been around me at all, you've probably heard me use the term "It all connected". Well, when it comes to Healthy Mind, Healthy Body vs. UNHealthy Mind, UNHealthy Body, that's never been more true. Take for instance, my issues with clutter. Not organizing the clutter is connected to feeling overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed is connected to feeling tired and depressed. Feeling tired and depressed is connected to lack of exercise, which is connected to gaining weight which is connected to a host of physical problems.

On Tuesday, June 1 a new show will air on NBC called "Losing It With Jillian". Jillian Michaels from my favorite show "The Biggest Loser" will go into people's homes for a week and try to figure out just HOW "it all connected". Read more:

Many families across the country are stuck in an unhealthy rut that they would love to get out of. In today's society, with the pressures of work, school, family and juggling everyday life, a person's health becomes last on their "checklist" leading them down a path of unhealthy living. In this new life-changing alternative series, Losing It with Jillian will provide a "wake-up call" for eight families across America and help them transform their lives from the inside out.

Each week on Losing It with Jillian, Jillian Michaels, one of the leading health and wellness experts in the country, will use her characteristic brand of tough love and move in with one family for a week, giving them the necessary tools to make positive changes in their lives, bringing them back to a healthier lifestyle. Michaels will get to the bottom of the issues each family member faces that affect their health and happiness. Over the course of one week, the family will be pushed outside of their comfort zones and introduced to new exercise and eating habits as they are tested through difficult challenges and dramatic confrontations. At the end of the week, Michaels will leave them with her customized plan and a set of goals to work towards leaving the family on their own, having to put to practice what they have learned.

One final challenge remains, which will be a testament to their determination and cement their commitment to live happier, healthier lives. In an emotional and exciting reunion, Jillian returns a few months later to see how far they've come and the families will reveal their new looks and share their accomplishments in front of their family and friends.

Try to catch the first episode on Tuesday, June 1. I know I will! I'll be honest; I'd be TERRIFIED if I saw Jillian Michaels standing in my doorway. Why? Because as far as I've come, I know I'm still not doing a lot of things right. I feel Healthy Mind, Healthy Body slipping out of my grasp and I need a jumpstart!

Thought For The Day

There's a really good chance it's time for me to go back to counseling for awhile.

Serenity Prayer: Learn It, Repeat It, Tattoo It On Your Arm If That's What It Takes

In this journal I talk about a lot of things, but tonight I need to send it back to it's roots. A dear friend of mine is struggling with an alcoholic family member who is tearing everyone's world apart, as alcoholics often do.

If you've never loved an alcoholic, you simply can't understand. You can't understand what it's like to sit back and watch the person sink deeper and deeper into the grasp of the disease and watch them slowly deteriorate before your eyes. It's the most helpless, frustrating feeling in the entire world, because no matter how much you cry, or how much you scream, no matter what you do or say, you simply cannot fix the problem.

In the years I've dealt with this problem, I've been told a hundred times, "If you want him to quit drinking, you just need to put your foot down!". People who say this do not understand the disease of alcoholism. You can and should draw a line in the sand that tells the alcoholic what you will and will not tolerate, but trust me when I say you can put your foot down til it reaches China and the alcoholic will not stay sober until they are ready. Because it's not about you! That's what we codependents have to understand. The alcoholic's drinking isn't about anyone else but them.

The best advice I can give is this. Educate yourself about the disease of alcoholism. The Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book is the best place to start. Then, decide how far you are willing to let the alcoholic push you. Decide how far you are willing to go. No matter how painful it may be, when they cross that line, walk away. Don't frustrate yourself by trying to rescue them, it won't work. Stay strong and take care of yourself and your family. Don't fall into that codependent trap. It's a dark and scary road back out, and you often get sucked back to the start.

She Was Tired

I feel like I fell overboard from a ship and I'm watching it move further and further away in to the distance. Right now it's all I can do to swim enough to keep my head above water. I'm talking about Healthy Mind, Healthy Body. My mind is far from healthy and it's preventing my body from being there too. I haven't walked on my treadmill more than a handful of times in the last month and I have no energy.

I'm very frustrated with finding an appropriate middle school for my daughter next school year. It seems like everywhere I turn I hit a wall. It's almost as if we just need to "know our place" in society and send her to the gigantic, rowdy school my son attends.

Work is overwhelming right now. We are fully in to our busy summer season. We are two people short, and myself and two other people are picking up all the slack. I can barely keep my own work load afloat. As tired as we are, none of us feels comfortable asking for a day off and that seems to frustrate everyone even more.

My hip hurts, Something has been "pinched" in my lower back for weeks, and I find myself fantasizing continuously about sleeping.

I've got to snap out of it.