Kentucky Derby Day 2016

I've been writing this blog for seven and a half years. In the beginning, very regularly. As of late, posts are few and far between. 

My life is so different now than it was in October, 2008. I detached. I stepped back from the people who caused me extreme duress. I stopped worrying about what everyone else was doing and thinking. I let go of the need to control. 

Do I have a bad day now and then?  Yes. 

Do I still find myself struggling with friends and other people who try to manipulate me?  Yes. 

Am I exactly where I want to be?  No. 

But I've come so far. And I'm not done yet. 

April 14, 2016

Life is moving so fast. 

It terrifies and excites me all at the same time. 

A Glimpse Inside My Head

I have a hundred things to say and no energy to say any of them. My mind is whirling like a tornado. 

Tomorrow is my last session with Kate. 

I'm getting ready to start a new and exciting venture in my life.

I returned a jacket I ordered online, and the company says they never received it. USPS said it was delivered on March 7. Just thinking about tackling that issue makes me want to go to bed and stay there. 

I've been pondering whether or not it's possible to love your life and hate it at the same time. 

I have guilt just typing that sentence.  

Tomorrow I'm seeing a rheumatologist to discuss the situation with my skin. 

Some days I feel like I can't possibly take my job even one more day. 

These are some of the thoughts I'm having, yet I don't have the energy to elaborate on any of them. I am so tired.

Sunday Update

Wow. It's been a month since my last post!  Not really sure where the time has gone. 

I've been spending any precious free time I might have on starting my jam business. This is something that makes me very happy. If I can work out logistics on a kitchen that will be acceptable to the board of health, I plan to apply for a cottage license. This will really get the ball rolling. Until then I am perfecting recipes, practicing, learning, and building a brand. 

Still working on my three year plan. 

Natalia has gained nearly 9 lbs since she has been in the U.S.  I don't really think it's her diet. It's lack of exercise. She has gone from working out at the gym every day after school, to coming home, eating, and starting on homework. Both she and her parents are surprised by the amount of homework American students are given. She has just made the lacrosse team however, and will be getting plenty of exercise at that. Keeping up with academics will now be even more of a challenge. 

All in all life is good. Is this where I see myself in three years?  No. Is this where I need to be now?  Yes. The rest will fall in to place in due time. 

Three Year Plan

Aside from the pure and absolute joy my children give to me, I absolutely cannot stand where I'm at in my life right now. 

I'm ready for changes. And I am on a 3 year plan to get there. 

If God lets me live, and doesn't strike me with some unbearable affliction or tragedy in the meantime, my life will be a whole lot different then. 

A Day In The Life

Today was kind of a rough day. 

Life is evolving yet again. Nothing is constant. Nothing. 

And it was really, really cold. 

Nataliaisms

Almost every day, something interesting happens with Natalia, then I think I should post in this blog. But then life happens, and there never seems to be time. So I will group several of them together now.

We don't wear flip-flops in public.

Natalia says that people in Spain have flip-flops, but only wear them at the beach or pool. Never for fashion, as everyday attire. She said her mother would never let her go out in public wearing flip-flops as part of her outfit!

We don't turn on the Christmas lights.

She says some people decorate their homes with Christmas lights, but it is too expensive to turn them on for long, so typically they are only on for a couple of days.

We don't exchange presents on Christmas Day.

Natalia's family celebrates Three Kings Day, which is January 6. This is the day they exchange their gifts, although they may get to open one on Christmas eve or Christmas day.

I threw it away.

Natalia had her first encounter with a rice crispy treat. She said it was disgusting, and tasted very strange. She wasn't sure what she was eating. After one bite, it landed in the trashcan.

Stay tuned. There's literally something pretty much every day.